Be a Better Writer: Advice

My college professor of Anatomy and Physiology was a master of 9 different disciplines. He thought he remembered me from Russia. He was disappointed that I was leaving medicine. He is, quite possible, the most effective teacher alive. Upon hearing that I was studying English in college, he gave me the best advice:

• Read great writers. Fernando Pessoa and George Orwell.
• Describe everything you do for 10 minutes. Do it well.

Thank you, Professor Bernstein.
I probably should've listened to you and got my Pharmacy Doctorate, but I'm on my path.

10 Backbends/Day

Here's the challenge:  10 backbends/day. Seems simple. Rightttt? 
Michelle, one of my old yoga instrutors, makes it look SO easy, elegant and beautiful. All I ask of myself is 10 backbends/day.

Day 1 - Longer Legs (2/13)
First of all I was downright amazed that I could pull off 10. I felt so much release in lower spine that my legs felt longer and I kept tripping over my feet with 'normal' stride. Legs like a gazelle!

Day 2 - Anger (2/14)
Finishing up at night left me wide awake until the wee hours of the morning. C'est la vie. I felt tremendous anger. Felt good to let it out by shouting, just for shouting's sake. Went home and danced it off. The distinction here is that I wasn't angry. There was no subject for the emotion. Just the emotion. I noticed it, I played with it, I danced with it. I danced ON it. Felt good. Kris played me a recording called Abraham which stated that anger was a step on the path to bliss. Sounds like new age hippy shit but you know, I actually believe it.

Day 3 - Struggle (2/15)
Doubt. Lots of it. Fear, a bit of it. Didn't want to hit my anger spot so I yanked something in my right-side waistline. Meg admonished me to be wary of my nice flexible spine and forsake lower spine ease for thoracic spine WORK. Gawd is it work, but worth it. I already noticed length and space in my abdomen - from 20 dinky backbends.dinky as a euphemism for the best thing you can do in your life! 

Instead of 2 sets of 3 and then 1 set of 4 consecutively with only spine twist in the middle for rest, my series went 4couldn't talk-1-otherstuff-1-gohome, eat, nap-1-3. Lots of blackout today. Inner ear pressure and jaw is carrying some noticeable stress. Hard today. But complete.

Day 4 - Wow (2/16)
Um, I woke up and was amazed. My stomach looks awesome. In the posture clinic Mary Jarvis said that with backbending your body shape comes out and your stomach just wants to suck itself in. After 40 backbends, seriously? Why doesn't everyone do this?

Day 5 - Skip (2/17)
I skipped today. Gave myself a break. Probably shouldn't have. But I did after I killed it in class. Still feel sore the morning after...Got some good advise though: Inhale Inspiration. Exhale Expression. 

Day 6 - 2/18
Will I make up yesterday? Maybe! Will I find a perfect picture? Yes!

First 5-in-a-row. Now 5 sets of 3. 

8 Symptoms of Good Health by Sri Swami Satchidananda

Sri Swami Satchidananda is awesome. I recommend that you read his website. All of it. Then print out all of the articles. Study them.

He founded Integral Yoga. As easily bullet-pointed by Wikipedia (donate to them), the credo of Integral Yoga states that the aim of yoga is to unify ourselves with the all and with our natural condition, which is:

• a body of optimal health and strength,
• senses under total control,
• a mind well disciplined, clear, and calm,
• an intellect as sharp as a razor,
• a will as strong and pliable as steel,
• a heart full of unconditional love and compassion,
• an ego as pure as crystal, and
• a life filled with supreme peace, joy and bliss.

 Who doesn't want that?

The main thing I am trying to get into this memex is the 8 symptoms of good health I've had taped to my wall for about 8 years.

The 8 Symptoms of Good Health,  by Sri Swami Satchidananda: 

1. Real Hunger
2. Good Digestion
3. Proper Pulsation
4. Interest in Doing One's Duties
5. Happiness of Mind
6. Sound Sleep
7. Perfect Functioning of All Bodily Organs
8. Timely Elimination of Waste

I truly believe that my yoga practice and my garden got me to close to these 8 symptoms of good health. Now, the key is frequency, precision and intensity of this health...as Emmy Cleaves best said it.

Frequency, Precision and Intensity - by Emmy Cleaves

I didn't write any of this. It's lifted from an awesome email from Jill Koontz, an owner of Bikram Yoga Boston, who channels the wisdom of Emmy Cleaves, the most senior Bikram Yoga teacher in the world, besides Bikram himself. Everyone in the community loves Emmy.

Enjoy.
...
....
....

Frequency, Precision and Intensity - by Emmy Cleaves

NOW is the time to really re-focus on your beginning series. The beginning series is where all your health benefits come from AND some believe that the yoga asana competition championships are won or lost with the precision in the beginning postures. To emphasize areas of focus I am borrowing from the words of our dear Emmy Cleaves (if you don't know who she is..ask one of the instructors..we would LOVE to tell you all about her).

Do any of these sound like your class?

Precision and intensity without frequency - That would mean that you do a great job when you manage to get to class, but you never go to class.  You go every day for a week, then give yourself two months off.  That's not going to work!

Frequency and intensity without precision - You are going all the time, and you are trying really hard, but you're still not listening.  You're working harder, not smarter.  You're just doing whatever you feel like doing, instead of following the dialogue word by word.  You think that you're getting some really great exercise with all that sweating.  But in the long run, that's not going to work!

Frequency and precision without intensity - You are coming all the time, maybe even every day, and you're doing everything correctly, but you're never really pushing yourself, never putting any serious oomph into it.  You're coasting.  That's not going to work!

So what DOES work?

Frequency - This does not, by definition, mean that you have to practice every day!  In the long run, frequency means that you're committed to practicing 3 times or more per week, and you do so regularly.  In my mind, frequency is all about consistency.

AND

Precision - Fall in love with precision.  Get interested in it.  Try to be precise in every motion, every twitch, down to the placement of your big toe or your thumb.  (On the line, with the index finger.)  All the good stuff is in the details.  Never assume that something is right just because you did it that way yesterday.  Keep your ears always open, just like your eyes.  Even if you've done 100 classes in a row, or 1000 classes in a row, go into every class hoping to refine your technique in some little way.

AND

Intensity - Yoga class is a gas station, remember?  Bikram says that it's the only physical activity in the world where you gain energy instead of burning it.  And how do you make that happen?  By putting more energy in.  I think it's computer programmers who call this the rule of GIGO - "garbage in, garbage out"!  But we can look at it from the positive angle - energy in, energy out.  Change doesn't just happen on its own; you have to make it happen.  Don't let that intensity fade.  Practice like Bikram is in the room.  Practice like it's your first class in weeks, and you've been missing it.  Practice like it's your last class for months, and you want to squeeze every drop out of it!

Remember: Frequency, Precision and Intensity!

If You Must Choose: Organic Fruit and Veg Guide

Always Buy Organic...

• Apples
• Bell Peppers
• Celery
• Cherries
• Grapes
• Nectarines
• Peaches
• Pears
• Potatoes
• Raspberries
• Spinach
• Strawberries
• Peanuts! 

Least Contaminated:

• Asparagus
• Avocados
• Broccoli
• Bananas
• Cauliflower
• Sweet Corn
• Kiwi
• Onions
• Mangoes
• Papaya
• Pineapple
• Sweet Peas

Keep Our Supplements - Oppose S.1310, the Dietary Supplement Labeling Act

Have you ever taken echinacea, vitamin C, astragalus, chlorophyll? ANY natural supplement??? Well, to continue doing that, you only have 32 days left to write your government. A new bill in Congress grants the FDA power to arbitrarily ban supplements that have been safely used for many years, without the need for any evidence that the supplements are actually dangerous.

AND it also tries to turn any supplement in to a "new" supplement and thus subject to the new pre-approval process. This could all have a profoundly negative impact on our nation's health and our healthcare costs.

DO SOMETHING.
http://www.anh-usa.org/vitaminwar/

Here is the letter I wrote. Most of it comes from the Alliance for Natural Health, but a lot is personalized too (in italics).

Dear Senator Chambliss, Senator Isakson and Representative Barrow:

Senator Durbin recently introduced the Dietary Supplement Labeling Act in Congress. I am writing to ask you to oppose it in the Senate and to prevent a similar bill from being introduced in the House. I recently spent a month in Germany, France and the Netherlands. My international peers were appalled at the state of my country, and especially the state of our food and medicine. While we have the best systems in the world in some ways, we also have the worst in the world in others. Policies upon policies I read about and hear about in such documentaries as "Food, Inc." and "Sicko" keep strengthening large businesses and debilitating the hard-working American people that are the pride of our great country. I want this to change.

This bill would not be a positive change, but rather a further decline in American natural foods production and yet another vote for large businesses controlling our population. Instead of advocating FOR health, the Dietary Supplement Labeling Act focuses on the adverse effects of herbs that have been healing the sick for centuries. Why aren't we demanding more information FOR the beneficial, ameliorating aspects of medicines that have been the rights of common people for ages?

This bill requires that the FDA, together with the Institute of Medicine, compile a list of dietary ingredients that could lead to adverse events or are otherwise deemed risky in some way -- based on completely arbitrary or non-existent standards. Moreover, once an ingredient or supplement is on the list, there is no clear process to challenge the FDA and IOM determination, not even if new or contradictory evidence comes to light.

It is super easy to get this message to your own senator and representative through this site. http://www.anh-usa.org/vitaminwar/

Alternative medicine is a promising and preventative means to reduce healthcare costs and to increase the overall health and well being of our great American people. Increased awareness about the benefits rather than the consequences of time-honored herbal remedies is a positive step towards a more viable future that I see for my country, one that will attract the applause rather than the ridicule of my international peers.

DSHEA, the Nutrition Labeling and Education Act, GMP standards, and the Fair Packaging and Labeling Act all ensure the safety of nutritional supplements and provide guidelines for clear and comprehensive labeling. This is enough.

This bill, the Dietary Supplement Labeling Act, uses vague language to create extraneous red tape, paperwork, and burdensome labeling requirements, when everything the bill mandates other than its new and arbitrary disapproval process is already being accomplished under current law! What is needed is enforcement, not new legislation.

It is super easy to get this message to your own senator and representative through this site. http://www.anh-usa.org/vitaminwar/

This bill may also have far-reaching consequences. For example, if the FDA and IOM draw up their arbitrary list of "safe" supplements and amounts -- such as no vitamin D in amounts greater than 4000 IU -- as provided for in this bill, more therapeutic supplement doses or preparations would never meet the new hurdle set by the FDA's new guidance on New Dietary Ingredients (NDIs), if that is allowed to go forward. Please do not allow this bill to go forward.

The FDA's new guidance on NDIs itself takes a notification process for new supplements and, contrary to Congressional intent, turns it into a pre-approval process with unknown and therefore completely arbitrary standards. The Dietary Supplement Labeling Act and the new FDA NDI guidance both come out of the same script book: they both essentially give government agencies the right to say no to new supplements on completely arbitrary grounds. And the new FDA NDI guidance also tries to turn any supplement in to a "new" supplement and thus subject to the new pre-approval process. This could all have a profoundly negative impact on our nation's health and our healthcare costs.

It is super easy to get this message to your own senator and representative through this site. http://www.anh-usa.org/vitaminwar/

Please oppose the Dietary Supplement Labeling Act and intervene in the new FDA guidance process on so-called New Dietary Ingredients in supplements to ensure compliance with Congressional intent.

I greatly appreciate your time and consideration of my strong opposition to S.1310, the Dietary Supplement Labeling Act.

Please if you believe in your well being and freedom and the health and rights of future generations please DO SOMETHING. 

 It is super easy to get a message to your senator and representative to oppose S.1310, the Dietary Supplement Labeling Act, through this site:  http://www.anh-usa.org/vitaminwar/

 

Letting the Mind Wander

If the mind wanders, bring it back.
Don't think, just do.
Shut the mind off.

Frequent mental yoga cues.
And this is how I feel about it.

Why? There is a wandering that is listening...
Listening to the wisdom of the ages,
And to the universe that is also LIVING inside of each of us.
Purely and precisely saying,
"Wandering Spirit - don't disagree with it. Let it."
See what happens.

Not a should, but a could in grammar's gerund.

psss: it's the gerund, not the infinitive - like art, which you once thought was infinitely free. In it's purest form, it is precise and infinitely confined.

Because saying YES means saying NO to everything else in the universe. Precise and pure in it's veritable nature. Honorable in its continuation...

Creating space for expansion, and revulsion.
Letting.
Allowing.
Reliving, relieving.
Feeling and flowing. Healing and growing.
Caring, not caring.
Leaving and Letting.
Transpiring.
Aspiring.
Fearing and Freeing.
Carousing, conceiving, reliving, relieving.
OR-GA-NIGH-ZING
Misspelling, mistaking.
Rejoicing, relaxing.
Letting.
Allowing.

Wandering.
Now, bring it back
TO LIVE.

(only one infinitive is necessary)

Paolho Coehlo - The Witch of Portobello

Reading Coehlo's books is a pleasure. He'll show me, like none other, a protatagonist that thrives within constraints while actively on their path and living in communion with the universe. Their teachers, individuals who rekindle traditions of knowing that lead to closeness to source and divine union -- ever-present, ever-graceful.

Here are some of my important remembrances from The Witch of Portobello.

THE PATH.
It's often been commented on and talked about and prayed for and worked towards. The Path. The Destination. The Journey. How ONE does not preclude the other or vice versa or whatever. 

• "Let go of the idea that the path will lead you to your goal. The truth is that with each step we take, we arrive...Every path and every destination are unique to the individual." (131) 

THE BREATH.
Discard and disregard superfluousness.
Discover and delight in simplicity. In it there is much beauty.
Concentrate.

• "Breathe deeply. Hold the air in your lungs as long as possible, and then breathe out. Repeat this five times. This exercise should have calmed your soul (132)

THE TEACHER.
My tea this morning came with a quote: "To learn, read. To know, write. To master, teach."

• "True teacher gives the disciple courage to throw his or her world off balance, even though the disciple is afraid of things already encountered and more afraid still of what might be around the next corner." (173)

THE ELEGANCE.
Coco Chanel said "Elegance is refusal." Athena's calligraphy teacher, the Bedoin Nabil Alaihi, says:

• "Elegance isn't a superficial thing, its' the way mankind has found to honor life and work." (79)

THE GROWTH.
Athena's teacher, Edda, says wisely:

• "Life is like building a bonfire with kindling...In order to understand the powers we carry within us and the secrets that have already been revealed, it was first necessary to allow the surface - expectations, fears, appearances - to be burned away."  

THE WEAKNESS.
This needs no explanation, only work.

• "In order for us to liberate the energy of our own strength, our weakness must first have a chance to reveal itself." -235

Bikram Choudhury at the 2011 International Yoga Asana Competition Championships

OMG BIKRAM YOGA! 
I practice Bikram yoga almost every day. At least 3x per week. It's hard. Really hard. It's hot. Really hot. Yes. And it's worth it. Really worth it. It's the single most important thing that has changed my life. I wish everyone would try it. And do it. Regularly.

YOGA ASANA COMPETITION.
Every year there are yoga asana competitions around the world, where yogis perform 5 required postures then 2 additional postures of their choice. The grace, poise, determination, strength and accomplishment of the competitors is very inspiring, to say the least.

You can watch reruns of the competition here: http://www.ghoshcup.com

OMG YOGA IS NOT NOT NOT ABOUT COMPETITION. THAT'S STUPID. SO STUPID.
I KNOW. Yoga community war zone. *Sigh* Some say yoga should not be about competition. In fact, it's not. AT ALL. Yoga asana competition is about being the best you can be. As competitors train to get better, they inspire the other competitors to get better too. As they get better, they inspire the entire yoga community to also get better. Collective betterment applies, I believe, not just to competitors, but also to studio communities.

The 2011 women's yoga asana champion Yukari Miwa from Japan (the picture of humbleness as she walked up on stage to get her medal and trophy) said:

"The only person you can beat is yourself."

Rajashree Choudhury said at the end of this year's competition that you can't win if you can't defeat the ego. She was radiant as she was thanking everyone involved in organizing the competition, getting one step closer to her dream of getting the yoga asana championship included in the Olympics.

WORDS FROM BIKRAM HIMSELF.
Bikram Choudhury, the founder of Bikram's Yoga College of India and creator of the 26 posture series that has changed many, many bodies and lives,  said a few things a the end of the competition too:

• It's almost impossible to say with a language until you feel it, experience it, know it, do it. (About his yoga series)
• Yogi do posture to bring body and mind together with concentration. Concentration make life better with body, mind and spirit. 
• Spread it (yoga) to make world, not better world. But best and perfect world.
• Yoga is the only subject in the world that can keep you alive as long as you want however you want. 
• No one is going to give you reward. You reward yourself. Every day when you finish a class, you get an Olympic gold medal yourself. 
• When you do yoga you open every door and every window. Not only of the earth, but the world. 
• Beauty is the finest and the perfect creation of the nature of the god. (On beauty of perfectly executed postures) 

EVOLVE, ALREADY, HYOOMANZ
An Olympian gymnast (I forget his name) was at the point in his career where he had to soon retire. When he started practicing yoga, his body recovered from the harmful repetitive strains he put on it every day to practice his sport. HE said, "No matter who you are, no matter how old you are, it (yoga) helps you become a better, more evolved human being.

Dr. Deepak Chopra on Leadership

Notable points from Dr. Deepak Chopra's lecture on Leadership at the Google Headquarters in Mountain View, CA (2/18/2011). http://t.co/nU8wT3E

• Leaders are the symbolic soul of a group consciousness. They represent the dreams and the creativity and the longings and the aspirations and the intentions of a collective consciousness...The leader somehow embodies the collective dream.

• As you listen to me, become aware of the listener. All the great wisdom traditions of the world (especially in the East) will say, hold on to that part of yourself - because it is the only part that is real.

• By changing patterns of inner experience you can rewire your brain. Rewire it for highter consciousness. It's no longer mystical, it's the science of neuroplasticity. 

• At the micro-micro-micro level, every atom disappears. What exists, at that level, is the realm of possibility 

• There are no structures in the universe. Only processes. Every process occurs in the field of consciousness.

• When you extend your boundaries, take away every label you have given yourself, then you are an infinite consciousness. You are a field of possibilities and you start to see the environment as an extension of yourself. 

 Other Quotes used by Dr. Deepak Chopra @ Mountain View.

• "What we don't know is doing we don't know what." -Sir Arthur Ellington 

• "You are not just a drop in the ocean. You are a mighty ocean in the drop." -Rumi

• "The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself and not judge yourself." -Krishnamurti

Aristotle on Virtue

According to Aristotle, "those traits which an audience generally considers the components of virtue" include:

• Justice
• Courage
• Self-Control
• Poise, or, Presence (magnificence @ MEGALOPROPEIA)
• Broad-Mindedness
• Liberality
• Gentleness
• Prudence
• Wisdom

Burke, Traditional Principles of Rhetoric, 55.

Monuments and Their Words

Monuments are cool to look at, and often neat to ponder. I figured I'd keep a running tally of the quotes and/or photos that I love. Wish I'd thought of this sooner. Wishing doesn't do much ever, though, now does it? Guess I'll have to take a trip back to Boston to get at the monuments that helped me shape my mind during the college years!!


at the Boston Public Library
“If thou seest a man of understanding
get thee betimes unto him and
let the foot wear the steps of his door”
-Thomas Sargeant Perry [1845-1928]

Transformation - Focus on Standing Bow Pulling Pose

Before Yoga

April 2010 (1 Year Yoga)

February 2011 (1 year, 10 months Yoga)

FACTS

• April 2010 marked 1 year of consistent Bikram yoga practice. Now Feb. 2011 proves the practice a lovely part of daily life, and I'm almost halfway through another 60-ish day challenge endeaver ...we'll just call this one transformation and number the days when it's over or I'm over.
• This asana is called Dandayamana-Dhanurasana - or - Standing Bow Pulling Pose. It is asana # 6/26 in the Bikram series.
• I love time lapse photography...and comparisons. 

CRITIQUES

• The weight is  still much too far back in the heel. 
• The shoulder and trapezius still have a lot of releasing to do.
• The body is still so far away from parallel to the ground, still...
• Pointing the kicking toes ? Seriously shouldn't be that hard to still not get it. But we'll be patient.

PRAISES

• Notice how much more the left shoulder has released to allow the upward kick. 
• Notice how much more centered the kicking foot is, not all wonky toward the standing leg. 
• Notice how much more dignified the shoulder is to the chin. 
• Notice how the armpit to butt ratio has decreased significantly, thus increasing the backbend.
• Notice how much more of the right side of the ribcage is visible, proving that the spine can twist and stretch AND bend all at once. 
•  AND can you see that the percentage of torso area parallel to the ground has significantly increased, from about 26% --> 33% !!!  

ENIGMAS

• I look at these pictures and don't even see the same person, yet I've been living in this body the entire time?
• I get that the pose can be "40% back bending, 20% hip and shoulder release and 40% hamstring stretching" (http://www.tgoetel.com/POMstandingbow.html) but where does the balance strike between softness and strength? 
• This pose can also be called 'dancers pose' in other hatha yoga styles. Or is it? Bikram is an archer, Shiva is the dancer. Shiva is the arbiter or simultaneous creation and destruction. There is that dynamic in the stretch of the arm reaching forward WITH the kick of the upward-extending leg. How else do these creative/destructive forces play? Do archers dance? Vinyasa/Jivamukti asana is NATARAJASANA. Bikram asana is Dandayamana Dhanurasana.

Dancin With the Dogs

I never knew how weak my ankles were until I mimicked every movement made by my neighbor's dog last night as we burned a little smoking fire in our backyard pit surrounded by tiki torches and cold December air. This kinda looks like Grady but I call him poopy:

That spunky little half-pit doggy make micro-movements and fakes, first this way then that. I sure felt like a spunky little girl and am amazed that I tired the dog out. AMAZED. I haven't worked out like that since serious soccer practices back in the day but that dog took it to the next level and I felt like I was at a football training. It felt SO good.

Those tendons, muscles and ligaments on the very outside of my legs need a LOT of work, especially so I can rotate my hips past the point of locking in Virabhadrasana 1 (Warrior) and don't hurt myself as I train to get into Hanumanasana (Forward Splits). Overdeveloped outside quads from overzealous soccer training back in the day got me a sick corner kick but a sickly back leg in any posture where it needs to be locked, toned and inwardly rotating on the top (femur) and externally rotating on the bottom (tibia) to ground through the feet and up the hips through to the center of all balance and bliss.

I am seriously taking this self-imposed yoga training regimen seriously. It keeps me awake at night and once upon a time a very wealthy investment banker told me that he only believed in a business if its founder was kept awake at night with thoughts of how s/he would succeed and grow.

Here I am - the luckiest girl in the world with some heaping helpings of joie de vivre and 2 unlimited memberships to amazing yoga studios in Savannah. It's too cold to be a southern bell right now so I'll keep at this path and just play with the dogs when they ask me to train up my ankles. I don't even like them that much as companions or pets but I like the way dogs move when they play.

Feel With the Breath

Today I started feeling everything with the breath instead of feeling with muscles, mind, heart, emotions, brain, thoughts, expectations, dissappointments or accomplishments.


This is firstly, for me, a yoga realization. Like all my 'yoga realizations' it applies nicely to life. Check it out. Feeling muscle pain with the mind sends a 911 response through the sympathetic nervous system and all the muscles clench up. Like this:

Feeling with the breath is like a cool breeze blowing softly on your sunlit face...by the sea. This song is a nice theme for the thought. Feeling with the breath to shine light like the sun, in asana and in life.

Shambhala - The Warrior's Path of Bravery

Reading Notes from Shambhala - Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chögyam Trungpa (February 28, 1939 – April 4, 1987) with * my recurring life lessons*.

Preface: 

• Shambhala is for people that seek genuine and fearless existence as human beings.
• Shambhala is also written about in Buddhist book Kalacakra.
• Shambhala is a statement on human condition and human potential.
• Shambhala teachings present logic of mind and heart.

Part 1, Chapter 1 - Creating and Enlightened Society

• Shambhala aids the experience and challenge of being human.
• Shambhala warriors are dedicated to primordial confidence.
• Shambhala teachings are founded on the premise that basic human wisdom can solve all the world's problems.
• *Shambhala's first principle is not being afraid of who you are.
• **Shambhala's premise is that one who discovers what they can inherently offer the world is the only one that can create an enlightened society for others.
• ***Shambhala urges its warriors to discover real goodness by appreciating very simple experiences.
• ****Shambhala warriors know that there is an undiluted and unconfused nature of basic goodness in all human beings.
• Shambhala teaches that all human goodness contains tremendous gentleness and appreciation. 
• Shambhala warriors have a genuine sense of humor - meaning appreciating reality with a light touch.
  

* Know Thyself 

** Changing Minds to Change Lives

*** Simple Life

****Looking at Others and Seeing their Best Potential

Part 1, Chapter 2 - Discovering Basic Goodness

• Shambhala warriors explore their basic goodness with mind-body unifying basic meditations.
• Shambhala warriors come to understand that we are very simple; not ordinary but extraordinary.
• *Shambhala warriors in meditation sit simply to arouse dignity and really truly believe that the earth deserves us, and we it. 

* Living a Dignified Life Close to the Earth

Part 1, Chapter 3 - The Genuine Heart of Sadness 

• Shambhala teachings are not concerned with divine origin.
• Shambhala teaches that being is good because it is not a source of aggression or complaint.
• *Shambhala teaches that we realize basic goodness by appreciating what we have with the boddhicitta (awakened heart).
• Shambhala meditation is a means to awaken genuine heart within yourself.
• **Shambhala warriors give birth to fearlessness by experiencing a sad and tender heart.
• Shambhala warriors welcome the world as it tickles our raw and beautiful hearts.

* Open Heart

** Working to Abolish Fear 

Part 1, Chapter 4 - Fear and Fearlessness

• Shambhala teaches that fearlessness is not the absence of fear but the transcendance over and beyond fear itself.
• Shambhala traditions discover fearlessness by working with the soft human heart. 

Part 1, Chapter 5 - Synchronizing Mind and Body

• Shambhala mind-body synchronization teaches fearlessness as accurate and absolutely directs relation with phenomenal world by attuning sense perceptions, mind and vision. 

Part 1, Chapter 6 - The Dawn of the Great Eastern Sun

• Shambhala suggests we replace fear of death with a focus on sense of reality and gratitude toward life that leaves a trail of dignity after we pass.
• Shambhala teaches the vision of the great eastern sun, based on: 
• Celebrating life
• Appreciating World
• Seeing source of natural radiance and brilliance
• Shambhala's Great Eastern Sun is the innate rising wakefulness in all ruman beings that operates in logic of our ability to return to the primordial ground.
• Shambhala advises against the setting sun approach which serves visions we can't consume and therefore must throw away. 
• Shambhala teaches that when you get close to the truth you can tell the truth and feel great. 
• Shambhala emphasizes how we can always return to the primordial groudn with the logic of the Great Eastern Sun.

...to be continued...

Trungpa, Chögyam. Shambhala - Sacred Path of the Warrior; Shambhala Publications, Boston, 1984.

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

Dunno why I'm on a William Blake (1757-1827) kick...He wrote, "The eye altering alters all" in his somewhat disturbing poem The Mental Traveller. The quote is not the point of the poem. My point here is: as a good friend Shane used to say, often:

~WHEN YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT THINGS

THE THINGS YOU LOOK AT CHANGE~

In Daniel Quinn's novel Ishmael, a teacher guides a student along a journey of discovery about the fundamental nature of the world and, essentially, how to make it a better place. Philanthropists, healers, environmentalists, do-gooders, optimists, movers and shakers - take note of the changes this passage from Ishmael advises:

"You can't say, 'We're going to change the way people behave toward the world, but we're not going to change the way they think about the world or the way they think about divine intentions in the world or the way they think about the destiny of man.'

As long as the people of your culture are convinced that the world belongs to them and that their divinely-appointed destiny is to conquer and rule it, then they are of course going to go on acting the way they've been acting for the past ten thousand years.

They're going to go on treaing the world as if it were a piece of human property and they're going to go on conquering it as if it were n adversary.

You can't change these things with laws. You must change people's minds.

And you can't just root out a harmful comple of ideas and leave a void behind; you have to give people something that is as meaningful as what they've lost."

Change your thoughts, change your life. Begin with the self - know it, love it, use it to make the world a better place. To help, here's a catchy lil' French phrase from a forefather of positive psychology, Emile Coué (1827-1926). 

Tous les jours à tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux

~Every day in every way I am getting better and better ~

People change lives (and, ~cough~cough~ pursestrings) by helping other people understand how to activate their desire to change then giving those other people a roadmap to a better life. 

p.s. dear fellow humans, PLEASE quit destroying planet earth. ktxluvubai.

Reasons for a More Diverse Yoga Experience

I am very fortunate to be a Bikram yoga devotee. Though I think the 26-posture torture chamber series is absolutely impeccable I keep encountering the desire for a more diverse yoga experience.

Today I started to explore that desire with an amazing work-trade position at the Savannah Yoga Center, a studio offering a delightful mishmosh of yoga flow and community vinyasa with 3 notable and veritable style gems: kundalini, ashtanga and yin.

I am already convinced that my desire for a more diverse yoga experience was correct for 4 reasons.

( Reason 1 ) 
Slower, More Mindful Transitions
Movements between the postures are the times when I can feel huge transformation taking place in my body. Unique but familiar sequencing in 'yoga flow' is an element of my more diverse yoga practice that I appreciate SO much. Like, thanks for tellin' me to take a Vinyasa through to: warrior 1 / warrior 3 / standing splits, Miss Amanda.The transitions feel like the trigger to blast off a precisely graceful practice. Transitions allow me to access deep muscle and refine subtle movement.  Slower, more mindful transitions help me understand and experience how body and breath can control the muscular contractions that make the asana as delightful and challenging as that posture (with its entry and exit strategies) can possibly be at any given moment.


( Reason 2 )
Different Movements = Different Muscular Developments

 Exhibit A: The Trapezius

The trapezius muscles thank me over and over and over as I take a simple strap held at arms length parallel to the ground, just wider than shoulder width, and bring it in a half circle up and over my seated body, like a rainbow, thanks Stephanie J. With a simple yet unfamiliar movement, the trapezius got a chance to unwind, unkink and again befriend the rest of my back and the neck and the shoulders. Dare I say it was delectable?

Exhibit B: Spread Fingers and Toes

William Blake wrote in The Marraige of Heaven and Hell: "Exuberance is Beauty". As I splay my fingers and toes to outlet the exuberance of the asanas as they channel the blood/energy flow in directions unlike those encountered in everyday ho hum life, I feel the posture becoming more free, more beautiful, more exuberant. As each posture gets more exuberant, it gets more difficult. I can visualize the energy balance recalibrating as it pulses through my widespread toes and fingers. I can also play with activating some larger muscles, starting with the teeniest ones in my extremities. Eureka! I'm able to walk the tightrope because these splayed hands and toes feel like that tightrope walkers big long balancing stick.

this is high wire artist Philip Petit and if you haven't seen his documentary

Man on Wire, please see it. Your inspired self will thank you later.

( Reason 3 ) 
Music
I love a good soundtrack to a great yoga practice. I know. I know. I KNOW. Unnecessary, I know. I can't argue with my natural propensity to move in harmony with a high strung melody or keep the dynamics balanced by smoothing out some ragged breathing to a fast-or-slow paced rhythm. I love music with my more diverse yoga practice because it is fun. Inspiring, too.

Falling out of a challenging pose then getting back in it over and over then working your ass off (literally and figuratively) in the yoga room is hard. I'm not complaining. It's hard because combined with the physical challenge, we need mental stamina and determination to stay focused and forward-moving in the moment each time we fumble and tumble and sway out of an asana. It's a helpful antidote to petty hurt feelings and disappointment when a singer croons out a soulful ballad about the love of my life or the sun coming up again and again. So what - I'm a wuss. We'll talk about my home practice soundtrack laterrr. Dance.it.off.

Exhibit A: Alexi Murdoch, Orange Sky

 

Exhibit B: Mason Jennings, Be Here Now

 

(Reason 4) 
More Core
After a year and a half of consistent Bikram Yoga practice, My Pariparna Navasana (Boat Pose) is still pitiful. That translates to: My core is still pitiful. Granted, we don't do Navasana in the Bikram series and my core has gotten 1000 times stronger than it was but I'd think that any consistent practice would get dat tummy ready for at least for 10 breaths in a pose named after a boat.

Compensation and 'cheating' has a hoaky way of disguising itself as true work or proper alignment to an eye unused to testing its own focus on unfamiliar terrain. Aka: Do a Navasana every now and then day to check in with how your center is really doing. Claudia Cummins wrote that Navasana can teach us boldness of spirit.That comes in handy, especially when a more diverse yoga experience gives the tools to lead a truly powerful life.

Truth isn't truth if it's only approached from one angle. 

That's why I am ecstatic about my more diverse yoga experience. 

.namaste.b*tches.

Software Development Applied to Life

As I'm packing up my things to move to Savannah, GA I am sorting through my old paperwork. I found notes from a book called "Mastering the Internet, xhtml and Javascript" from 2004 by Ibrahim Zeid. It's interesting that the 5 phases of software design in that book are also very helpful as organizational principles in life.

They are as follows:

1. Plan - What neeeds to be accomplished. Results in a road map for what lies ahead.
2. Analyze - Identifies all possible solutions to the problem at hand. A synthesis activity that decides the best and final solution to a problem.
3. Design - Perform detailed tasks to determine materials and resources required to navigate the roadmap. 
4. Implement - Acquire all materials deemed required in Planning phase then assemble, install, test and train for proper use
5. Support - Monitor use of product and user's feedback. 

There we have it. Old knowledge with a lot of applications for the now. Plan, Analyze, Design, Implement, and Support. In order. Cheers to a very productive life.

How Love Ascends, According to the Ancients

Diotima, the supposed teacher of Socrates (that ancient and famous Greek philosopher) declared that love ascended from one to all in three progressions:

1. From body to bodies
2. From spirit in one to spirit in many
3. From the idea of one to the idea of many

Diotima taught that to appreciate beauty and good, every man and woman in the world must work separately to start anything then merge together, as one.

Let's work together more!

Your Lorem Ipsem is Yoga

After I revoked my commitment to 60-day Bikram yoga challenge I DID decide that I wanted to keep documenting my experiences with the practice - on and off the mat, as they say. Today, there was not a lot of work life balance, but there certainly was a lot of life in work.

I am currently employed at an integrated marketing communications firm which, before the amazing new worlds of digital and social, was known simply as "Ad Agency." Ya know, Mad Men? As a copywriter, there is a lot of LOREM IPSUM in my life.

LOREM IPSUM is a section of a Latin treatise, from sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 of "de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum" (The Extremes of Good and Evil) by Cicero, written in 45 BC.

When graphic designers at the ad agencies create beautiful brochures and websites they make layouts first. They are really good at making images direct your eyes to the real copy (which, goes unread in this day and age without their magic).

LOREM IPSUM is the filler text the Magic makers (aka designers) use to occupy the space where real words get inserted after the design is approved. If real words are used, people will focus on those words and get distracted from the overall integrity and quality of the design itself...even if it was something inane like the quick blue fox jumped madly and then ate the brown dog.

I'll just copy paste part of the translation of the text about separating our understandings of pleasure and pain. Turns out that LOREM IPSUM is not only part of all insanely long work days, it is also a good lesson for getting tough when the going gets tough in a yoga room.

And now I present some of the translation from Cicero's text:

But I must explain to you how all this mistaken idea of denouncing pleasure and praising pain was born and I will give you a complete account of the system, and expound the actual teachings of the great explorer of the truth, the master-builder of human happiness. 

No one rejects, dislikes, or avoids pleasure itself, because it is pleasure, but because those who do not know how to pursue pleasure rationally encounter consequences that are extremely painful. Nor again is there anyone who loves or pursues or desires to obtain pain of itself, because it is pain, but occasionally circumstances occur in which toil and pain can procure him some great pleasure. 

To take a trivial example, which of us ever undertakes laborious physical exercise, except to obtain some advantage from it? But who has any right to find fault with a man who chooses to enjoy a pleasure that has no annoying consequences, or one who avoids a pain that produces no resultant pleasure?

[33] On the other hand, we denounce with righteous indignation and dislike men who are so beguiled and demoralized by the charms of pleasure of the moment, so blinded by desire, that they cannot foresee the pain and trouble that are bound to ensue; and equal blame belongs to those who fail in their duty through weakness of will, which is the same as saying through shrinking from toil and pain.

These cases are perfectly simple and easy to distinguish. In a free hour, when our power of choice is untrammelled and when nothing prevents our being able to do what we like best, every pleasure is to be welcomed and every pain avoided. But in certain circumstances and owing to the claims of duty or the obligations of business it will frequently occur that pleasures have to be repudiated and annoyances accepted. The wise man therefore always holds in these matters to this principle of selection: he rejects pleasures to secure other greater pleasures, or else he endures pains to avoid worse pains.

 From 45 BC. Cicero. Ya know, the guy who favored Pompey over Julius Caesar but flip-flopped like any good politician does - even in 45 BC. He probably didn't do a 30 day Bikram yoga challenge but I'm sure he still did have a bunch of stressful things to deal with and practiced some physical exercises. LIKE WARRIOR TRAINING. 

I don't know if Statesmen trained to be warriors in ancient Rome but I do feel like my life AND work  training is sure making me into an effective and peaceful warrior (see: Shambhala). Yoga hurts sometimes. So do long work days. In the end, the hurt stops greater hurts from happening later. 

Sweaty warrior training is a good idea. So is integrated marketing communications. So is Mad Men. So is lorem ipsum.

Spring 2010 Bikram Yoga Challenge

Inspired by one certain favorite who also loves red heels and considers the thought of bringing snuggies into the hot room (!!!) LOL-hilarious, I too will blog my 30 60 day  33 day bikram yoga challenge (namaste b*tches) with an effort that will probably shape up somewhere between concise, cheeky, nerdy, irreverent and brutally honest.

Remember, Chogyam Rinpoche wrote, in his treatise on Shambhala (the art of the warrior's path), "For the warrior, every moment is a challenge to be genuine, and each challenge is deligtful."


1/30 -- MY BIKRAM YOGA BIRTHDAY! 
TH, April 1 @ 7:45pm (tx dv)
It was, indeed, a triumphant rebirth. No joke. The first year out of a lifetime practice. I made plans to photograph the series to advance better. And never to go to the doctor again. Just kidding, kind of.

2/30 -- HOT ROOM IS THE NEW HAPPY HOUR!
F, April 2 @ 5:30pm (tx dv)
Getting to the 5:30pm class on a Friday night is nothing short of a miracle. Friends at the studio commented, questioningly. You're here early??!!?? I KNOW. A miracle! I was wondering whether I listened better creatively (with my left brain) while set up in the left side of the room because the dialog is going in my left ear. Signing off, Lady Cassandra, the cognitive psychologist that isn't quite sure yet which ear corresponds to which brain hemisphere! tbd

3/30 -- BATTLE AXE! 
S, April 3 @ 3pm (tx dw)
Yo, if my back leg keeps being so stubborn and unlocking I AM GOING TO CHOP IT OFF. Namaste. As a sidenote, I've been dreaming ALL winter long about wearing a dress after class and then waltzing out after to feel warm wind on my legs. Yumm. It was a good look, and the warm breeze blowing on my legs made me rethink my resolve to chop them off, one stubborn slippy foot and unlocked knee after the other. I still have both legs. Hallelujah!

4/30 -- SPRINT TO WIGGLE THAT BIG TOE! 
SN, April 4 @ 10am (tx C)
When the T runs late and I sprint from Chinatown to Lincoln street, arriving at 9:59 for the 10 thanking the luckiest stars that I put my costume on at my home...I am NOT surprised that my body does not cooperate with previously held belief that it once possessed any grace in motor skill execution. Glug glug glug. Sometimes it is a babbling brook, sometimes it is the dungeon door. Let the records show that my body was indeed an example of the dungeon door: like when Tarantino set up Uma Thurman for an epic hospital escape only to plop her in a badass yellow jeep saying "Wiggle your big toe. WIGGLE YOUR BIG TOE." for a looong time until it FINALLY moved a fraction of an inch. Yup, Happy Easter! Celebrated with a body that felt like a dungeon door. First time in ages I haven't seen the floor in backbend, struggle just to see the wall. I do love this struggle and am glad I am marking each day off on my calendar with a heart.

5/30 -- SUNRISE YOGA!
SN, April 4 @ 10am (tx kb)
6 am is a good one to forget. I don't remember a single thing except for being incredibly thirsty the rest of the day. Are you surprised???

6/30 -- MY EVOLVING ARCH-NEMESIS! 
W, April 7 @ 6pm (tx kb)
Rush again to get to the early class, first of two for the day. I am feeling really grateful for the practice and growing more fond of my current arch-nemesis, salabhasana. Baby steps!

7/30 -- WHOAH I DIED!
W, April 7 @ 8:15pm (tx kb!)
When the face turns shades of gray and white except for two bright red dots below the cheekbones and the eyes behold punctuated disco-ball floaties in all sorts of pretty colours, one should probably take a knee. And that's just what I did. For a bunch of postures. Near death experience, check! When I got a grip, I started working with the energetic body to move the muscles, rather than the other way around. I also concentrated on how breathing moves the muscles micro-metres. Something tells me that I never would've been concentrating on these things if I didn't feel near-death experience to the utmost. Micro-adjustments with breath and energetic body, check!

8/30 -- FUN!
TH, April 8 @ 7:45pm (tx dv)
Yes, sometimes Bikram yoga class is plain old fun. Sweaty, exhausting, demanding, run-you-ragged-and-prove-you're-really-human FUN.

9/30 -- BALANCING STICKS ARE NOT FLEXIBLE!
F, April 9 @ 5:30pm (tx mh) 
Thank you thank you thank you thank you for telling me that I am NOT flexible in balancing stick, I am STRONG. Repeat: NOT flexible in balancing stick, STRONG. And proud! With attitude! I think this mental adjustment will help my balancing stick look more like a stick and less like a noodle, i mean, broken umbrella!

10/30 --  PRETTY POSES! 
Sn, April 11 @ 3:30pm (tx kb)
ok ok I think my brain is playing a sick joke on my body. It likes the way that it's favorite postures look (e.g. Standing Bow, Toe Stand, BACKBEND) and so that brain tricks the muscles into making the postures look even better by performing in accordance. Ha ha brain! Now I know you. I am enamored with the way EVERY posture looks AND feels and works and does. I want every posture to look better and feel better and work better and do better. HA. Cassandra - 1 / Cassandra's Brain Bullshit - 0.

11/30 -- INTEGRATION! 
Sn, April 12 @6pm (tx ka)
With some amount of trepidation, I approached double #2 of this challenge. After previous dungeon door experience, I was a little nervous. No need! Working to integrate the little lessons: of the energetic body and the micro-movements with the breath; the annihilation of any flexibility in balancing stick and a (!) locked back knee  in triangle. Well, for part of the posture, each side. Step by step by step by step. That's why I love this practice.

12/30 -- MORATORIUM ON DISCRETIONARY SPENDING!
T,  April 13 (tx rr)
Sometimes some good inspiration and a badass practice partner are all you need. As I looked myself in the eye during standing bow (kinda scary!) I found peace in the memory of my good ol' literary days. Kahlil Gibran wrote, reminding my dancer to root in reason and grow in passion, "Let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing; And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix, rise above its own ashes…You too should rest in reason and move in passion." (The Prophet “On Reason and Passion").

13/30 -- Χαρα Να Ζήση (JOY - MAY YOU LIVE VICTORIOUS!)
Th., April 15 (tx dv)
You know, sometimes you have those days when the world is screaming at you, I LOVE YOU. I felt really good going into today's class because I remembered how awesome it is to wear red lipstick all the time, I finished my taxes and did a bang up job at work. So, needless to say I was feeling a bit elated, singing myself and dancing a little bit to the most awesome percussion of Mathangi "Maya" Arulpragasam. To follow, I THEN walked in to the studio, a second home of sorts, to find that one of my friends had printed out one post-practice iPhone-snapped photograph of me and then taped it on my 30-day challenge record. AND printed out 2 more & taped them in 2 others in the cubbyholes (!!!) where we stowe our belongings while we work at making our lives and practices amazing in the hot room. Namaste chihuahua! I'm not gonna lie, those 3 photos made me cry. They had a pretty blue fleur-de-lis border around them too - a token to scream: there is so much love and support in our community. I have it and everyone in it to thank for helping each of us, individually and collectively, understand how to care for and support each other in the challenges and triumphs of our unique practices and lives.

We are all working towards something amazing. Working through pain, working with joy, working to lock the effin knee, yo. I practiced in front of 2 newer people, and felt a responsibility to execute at the tippity top of my ability, then beyond it, to set a good example. I am thinking that this is a good approach for every day, not just the days I am aware of it. edge. I should be setting a good example for myself, AND for others. game face. Moods certainly are contagious in the room - I struggled with this on my first challenge because I didn't want to be the Eyore in the room. Oh bother.

My focus right now is on joy (as the title of this post, Joy - May you Live!) - joy for every single muscle fiber whether it's screaming at me furiously in pain or singing the songs of sweetness for excellence in execution.

DAY 14/30 - I DON'T NEED A BRAIN OR SAME-LENGTH LEGS - I SWEAT SPARKLES!
F, April 16 (tx sc!)
Fridayyy!!! Fridayyyyy! TGIF! Friday nights are tough classes. Workweek pressure, stress, sleep deprivation, etc. all kinked up in the trapezius, heart, brain or whatever most vulnerable part falls victim to the toxicity of an American workplace despite a pretty resolute & bullshit-resistant mind combined with a daily yoga practice. On the way to the studio I was reflecting on the week past, with much gratitude that it passed. I chuckled because I had forgotten all of or parts of my yoga costume 3x!?? 1x being fatal to practice. oops. This forgetfulness is strange for me - I am not usually careless. I joke around about the second line of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras about yoga citta vritthi nirodha, often translated (a.k.a. butchered as all translations do) to yoga is the cessation of the turnings of the mind. They really weren't kidding about that stuff! Seriously though, my itinerant laundry-folding is probably the perpetrator. Usually my costumes go in one milk crate - bottoms on the left, tops on the right. This week, they're all together in an unfolded mess. Less mess, more clarity. Everything in its right place. That's the idea!

Class this Friday night was pretty good, meaning that it was a struggle every second to get out of my head and into my body. Wish I could say I was more successful but I went to the edge (drives me nuts that it changes every day!). Currently I am somewhat perplexed by the outsides of my knees, for they are in pain almost every day - and it feels like I need to stretch those like I would stretch a muscle. Hmmm - dear online anatomy class, what the hell is going on with the outside of my knees? Also, my right leg feels like it is a hair shorter than the left becasue I've been weebly-wobbly-ing all over the place and it's not because I fidget, though I am not immune to the fidget. Stillness, please! I am thinking the combination of a perplexing knee and a hamstring more flexi- on the left standing leg might be the diagnostic. I'm dealing with a residual right leg hammy pull from about 6 months ago and an ollllld injury, soccer cleat to middle of that same hammy...Maybe that could do it. If I could only send flowers to that right hamstring to make it like me again...

Whatever. After class Emily said that I sweat sparkles. Hello amazing.

DAY 15/30 - NOSEDROPPING & KARATE CHOPPED THROATS!
S, April 17 (tx dv!)
Sometimes it's fun to be in a sold-out class, mat to mat with friends and strangers who aren't friend's yet, until they unintentionally eavesdrop on your silly conversation then tell you they were nosedropping. After check-in my #1 practice partner & I scoped the crowded situation and ran up to the room still adorned with winter coats and scarves to claim our favorite spots side by side. As we talked before class about dehydration the girl next to us said "Pardon me for nosedropping but..." It was nice to have that camaraderie because we were sweating all over each other for 90 minutes. Not carelessly because we were all pretty solid with our proprioceptive skills and only crashed into each other 1x (eagle). I promised A that I would try not to fall over onto her mat in rabbit. She did the same. We had a good class. And I say "we" because there is unmistakable collective consciousness, especially when you make plans to practice together as we did, and often do.

In purna salabhasana someone started laughing and said "I just got karate chopped in the throat." with bubbly laughter. Thank you, karate chop victim. You made this class rule. Heat was 100% perfect. I am making friends with the locked back knee in triangle - but I guess one week after you threaten to battle-axe it off, the body gets your brain's resolve, right!? For fun & tribute to that karate chopped throat and my back locked legs in trikonasana:

DAY 16 - 17/30 - MAKING FRIENDS WITH THE BOTTOMS OF MY FEET!
Sn, April 18 (tx tk & ka!)
Two classes today left me convinced that a daily yoga practice is one of my habits. I certainly have been pacing my life to enable the incredible energy output required for the 30 day challenge, both mentally and physically. I am enjoying the juxtaposition of this one to the last because I feel -more often than not- that getting into the room seven times a week is as normal as eating breakfast.

This whole no-break thing is making me concentrate on ways to rehab the muscle & mind in daily life..massage to the foot arches with a mindful walk and a surreptitious hip compression on the train to fix my French manicure and a regular check in with my ribcage and abs may they get stronger and fiercer amen. Thank goodness for all the fiercely perfect teachers telling me exactly what to do for ninety minutes each day.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

DAY 18/30 - EXORCISM!
M, April 19 (tx dw!)
There sure are some days when the body decides to have an exorcism and the task is to survive with some shred of dignity and salvageable understanding: better form in pranayam and a knowing poker face. As my muscles expelled their toxicity and learned about stoic execution of movement I had a panic feeling that surfaced as almost-vomit but then turned into a glorious deconstruction...a gray's anatomy (textbook not tv show) visualization that hearkened back to that pulled hamstring theory: of feeling how to use surrounding muscles to increase the integrity and power of movement when one is broken, pulled or charlie-horsing around. Example: when my calf won't get me to almost full expression in standing bow how BOUT a wiggle of that big toe and whatever muscle runs atop each shinbone to get the standing leg stronger and the kicking keg straighter...see, surviving can be glorious even amidst the massive cellular exorcism that was my heart's own pokerface tonight...still a manifestation of my unconditional love for the suffering and the practice. Maybe someday I'll love all the asanas as much as standing bow...

DAY 19/30 - REALLY? 
T, April 20 (tx rr!)
There comes a time in every endeavor when I say to myself, "why dear, why?" Today was that day. Guess you don't have all the life experiences recorded here without being tired and hungry all the time. My colleague is aadvocating that I be lazy like him but even though I felt braindead and ouch all class, I will forge forward. Can't say that I haven't been wondering what is the benefit of sacrificing martinis and of doing 30 classes in 30 days on top of every other life pursuit. hmmmmm. I'm sure there will be an answer...

DAY 20/30 - OH HAI INVISIBLE BARRIERS - NO ME CHINCE JODER!
W, April 21 (tx jr!)
Sometimes I wonder about why we are torturing ourselves by doing something really really hard for 90 minutes every day but then I am just encouraged again and again. We are breaking down the invisible barriers, the toxins and scar tissues and calcium buildups - even pernicious interpersonal habits like hubris, selfishness and negativity - and EVEN the all-too-much humbleness of how incredible and unique we actually are! It hurts to come across the invisible barriers, and it is confusing (see day 19/30) but voila! I knew there would be an answer. The slightest changes make the biggest differences.

I used to have bad wrist pain all the time...accepted it. But as Marcus Aurelius wrote, "Everything we hear is opinion, not fact." I accepted a problematic feature in my life as the reality of a desk job stretching over aprx. 10 hours a day and the ability to type 75 words a minute. Opinion.  NEW Opinion: my reality is different, no more problematic wrists. Thank you, arch nemesis posture salabhasana - i guess I have to love you. I used to be very shy, try to hide what I've accomplished. Now I find that an occasional dose of unabashed self promotion is truly fitting, beneficial and even sometimes hilarious. By being truthful with myself, and working through the difficultuy of breaking down my own invisible barriers (even and often unknowingly with a class that feels like braindead hell), I have to truly believe that this can encourage others to do the same. We are transforming at the subtlest levels, and those changes are making a huge difference. Even my roommate commented that I was being very precise, and I sure can't think of any other impetus for his compliment. I am tasked (by him) to be precise, judicious and egalitarian (read: strong, balanced and flexible?).

I'm mulling over the attractive (read: crazy beautiful) thought of prolonging the 30-day to a 60- & peer pressure's on - as some of my favorites are pursuing it too...Coin flip?

DAY 21/30 - THE MEANS ARE NOT THE ENDS, AND THE BRAINS ARE NOT THE MUSCLES
Th, Apr. 22, 2010 (tx dv!)
So if you visit a bikram yoga class you might be surprised at the emphasis on struggling and killing yourself and killing pain with pain. I could be off but there is definitely a flipside...a benefit. Wait, um, I am a walking example of that truth. The struggle is the means not the end nor the goal. Freedom in shackles and space to breathe when there seems to be none...THAT is why there is the struggle and the pain and the killing. That was my class and the fun thing is that my muscles are giving me these words...not my brain. THAT is on loan to the universe.

DAY 22 & 23 / 30 - STRETCHING UP AND SLEEPING IN
S, Apr. 24 (tx bk & jg)
To kickoff a weekend full of yoga I hustled to the Harvard noon a bit early to chat with a friend at crossover. I had taken Friday off to go to a red sox game and of course ran into lots if friends. Out all night then chatting the rest if it away on the telephone. Thought I would be feeling ugga ugga but the first class was great.  I was really digging a slower dialogue delivery than I am used to. It helped me be more deliberate about my postures and the heat was perfect...not as hot as usual so I could really get into my muscles with my mind rather than let the heat do it for me.

A crick in my neck from sleeping on it the wrong way humbled me SO much. Not sure humbled is the right expression...but basically I was born to backbend and I sure do call myself fortunate that I can see the floor 98% of my classes but ooh I probably went only ONE AND A HALF CENTIMETERS back in first set and wanted to cry. Pranayam before that was even worse. My elbows were at about a 32 degree angle sloping down from the shoulders rather than perpendicular to the floor lifted up in exaltation of oxygen. OUCHY OUCHY I don't think I've hurt that much in class, ever.  Second set of backbend I tried to start the movement and flexion from my lower back rather than my crown and was able to see the back wall. Phew. I am curious about where the origin of the backbend should start. But is there a should? Or bothe ways is acceptable? I think I could make an argument in both directions but want to remember to ask this question...And YES, thank you Laura, Shakti trunk sale angel, for allowing me to splurge on this new top in black - I'll have you all know that I scrimped and saved for it by refusing to buy any coffee beverages for 2 months.

http://www.shaktiactivewear.com/

Class # 2 came after a lovely stroll on the esplanade with an old friend and some lazing about in the sunshine watching the sunrays sparkle on the water. It's funny to see peoples reactions to the 30 day challenge. Often they ask but WHY? My first instinct is to say "cuz i am a lady who loves a challenge...even thrives on it...but the true answer is that I know that I am working through all sorts of energetic blockage that are so subtle that sometimes I wonder if the really exist...I wonder if we really need to make such minute adjustments to become what we are meant to be and do what we are meant to do.  But then I remember that it is these subtleties that separate the greats from the averages - and what makes us precise as humans as we do whatever it is we are on this planet to do.

La dee da I am going to feel good sleeping tonight because oh wow I was zapping into super-uber mini naps during every savasana of the floor series. Fighting to keep my eyelids open, but starting to flash into dream world, or hallucination - whatever to call it, it's all semantics at this point.



DAY 24 & 25 / 30 - PINCUSHIONS & HAMBURGERS
Sn, Apr. 25 (tx hb & ka)
Had a nice walk on the way to class. Felt pretty good going into the first one, and quite accomplished, for my monetary abilities allowed me to purchase pretty new shakti top, billberry kombucha and the loveliest of the strange lovely flowers for the studio, a pincushion, in honor of all the crazy ballerinas. I practiced in the 3rd row at Harvard next to my triumphant friend, but totally couldn't see myself more than one inch. I got a bit annoyed becasue the girl in front of me could have moved over. COME ON. But seriously, it was interesting for me to practice without the mirror, even helpful. I made my muscles do the looking. Sorta...read on.

Before Class #2 my triumphant friend and I made photographs of 3 postures: padahastasana, dandayamana dhanurasana & standing separate leg stretching. Whoah what an eye-opener. For laughs, check out the ad that came from googling dat Dandayamana-Bibhaktapada Paschimotthanasana. Maybe also some LOLs for my butchered spelling.

Class felt really good. I enjoyed it. I did all the postures. I felt silly after, and was so glad that Kristine explained the phrase 'hamburger hands' by clutching her foot . Oh yoga, you make us look and feel amazing, but also give us the extraordinary ability to mimic eating a hamburger using our foot as the patty and the hands as the buns.


DAY 26 / 30 - A LOT OF YOGA AHEAD OF YOU...
M, Apr. 26 (tx dw)
Look out, I was on a rampage about getting a 'good job cassandra' shoutout in standing bow when my knees were obviously hyperextending back. Here's the deal: knees were in one line & so were shoulders - even dat chin was touching the shoulder & it looked like the damn knee was locked from the front and it looked like the body was parralel to the floor from the front. Oooh baby but no no NO. The photo tells all. I now have a new arch-nemesis (and wonder if this is the universe's way of telling me that one must delete the thought of a favorite asana or perish).

Because of this photo I questioned the dialogue, the lack of personal corrections and my own stupidity in trusting my flexibility. EXHALE. This is normal. I have very strong reactions to things. Let me be more rational. Looking into the mirror from the front took about a year to delete the "you're no good" chatter. Now time for the side. With a calmer approach after this icky mindbleep I explained to my teacher that I wanted to focus on the strength in that pose and wouldn't be going into full expression relying on my flexibility to make it beautiful. He calmly explained that some hyperextension was normal and all practitioners experience it to some degree.

I voiced some degree of impatience and teacher (thankfully & wisely) said that I am a young and vibrant person with a lot of yoga ahead of me. Boom Boom Pow.

Now is the time for me to focus on the strength in the (strength/balance/flexibility) equation.


DAY 27/60 - RUBBER BANDED CRITICISM
T, Apr. 27 (tx rr)
Tonite was one of those classes where I could totally let my mind go and concentrate on the muscles. They startin' to feel like rubber bands now that I am concentratin' on my strength rather than reliance on the flexibility deeply rooted in my muscle memory from being a cartwheelin' handstandin' 'look ma I turned myself into a pretzel' type of kid.

Confession: I used to slump my stomach when I was nervous or experienced a lack of confidence and breathing into those muscles now is an absolutely exhausting joy but I guess you don't turn muscles into rubber bands so easily...for example, by way of RL: "Pain comes only when the body does not understand how to do the asana, which is the case in the beginning. In the correct posture, pain does not come. To learn the right posture, you have to face the pain. There is no other way."-BKS Iyengar

After class MH worked with me to photograph the standing series and that was one of the most terrifying experiences I've put myself through in the practice as of yet so I am glad that I did that with someone I trust. I highly recommend this process for anyone engaged in a serious practice. We had a lot of laughs & tip-sharing and it was really nice to notice how my body moved without the normal 105 degree heat. The results really threw my tendency toward stringent self-criticism in the limelight but as Ms. Coco Chanel once said: "Elegance is refusal".

After all...looking through the cosmic mirror is definitely something we've got to do from all angles. If I can't do that without eliminating the critical banter deeming weakness prime for the utmost disdain and focusing on weaknesses as opportunities to get better, more better, stronger and more effective then I don't deserve to be human.


Day 28/60 - PUSHUP CONTEST YO
W, Apr. 28, 2010 (tx jr)
Lucky duck I am, getting to roast in a hot room after a time-warp into December with the weather being all freezing and the office heaters all 'not working'. MC challenged me to a pushup contest before class. Even though I got to do girl pushups and received 3 credits for each of his 1 - I won! In the process I realized I have wuss arms. Something to refine. I also am concentratin' on refining the muscles I really need to do tuladandasana more like a balancing stick and less like a like a chump. No worries! Tous les jours à tous points de vue je vais de mieux en mieux. Better and better and better and better as the body goes down and the leg goes up and the practice gets more and more and more refined as the mind gets more and more resolved and the heart gets more and more open and the spirit gets so damn resolute it get's scary in it's fierceness except for that it's fearless. My mind's all consumed with yoga & I'm starting to care less and less about other bullshit, like being stressed out about work and hungry more often than not. Hey, I've got 50 cents more than I have to spend and that makes me quite rich.

I am pursuing a crazy goal that gives me incredible joy and I am meeting amazing people on the way. I am able to insprire other people in their own journeys and combine my love for other things (i.e. gardening, reiki, ayurveda, anatomy and physiology, storytelling) into this yoga practice. What could be better? Oh ya, NOTHING.

Update: the 60 there is no typo. I am going for it. A. voiced his opinion that putting the body through so much strain couldn't possibly be healthy. Even though I'm more worried about the mind, we'll see about that...Ya'll know I love the wise words of others:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness...
the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
- W.H. Murray, of the Scottish Himalayan Expedition

DAY 29/60 - LUCKY

Th, Apr. 29 (tx dv!)

Day 29 on April 29, I like the parrellelism. I figured out that I'm lucky because I usually WANT to do my best in all the postures and all the life. Confession: this class I WANTED to slack. My body's feelin' oh so sore. Concentrating on the strength and making pushup contests has been a humbling experience and my muscles are thanking me for it with their soreness. Hahaha. I was slackin' in 3rd part awkward when I realized the foreign feeling. I am a first born child, so tendency is towards perfectionism - this has both helped and hurt me. I quit slacking, because why would I do that? Man my arms are sore. It was a great class all in all, a struggle not to want to slack - the magic formula being wanting to do my best & obliterating any thought whatsoever of slacking. D kept emphasizing breathing normal as if we were all strolling down the street, which helped tremendously in the forward bends for me - starting to feel the spine elongate and liking them just as much as backbends (where i've been backing up on depth to play with how the muscles make it different). Yeah!

DAY 30/60 - TRIFECTA

F, Apr. 1 (tx sc!)

We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it! S, E & myself set up all in a line and it was awesome. SC told us to sit down like our asses had the hiccups in triangle. Why the Kid Rock song "ball with the ball the bang the bang diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy" was stuck in my head, I wish I could know. Alas, I don't and I couldn't get it out of my head. That was incredibly strange and I finally locked the standing leg and kicked out. On one side. It's a good look.

DAY 31/60 - BICYCLE BICYCLE!

S, May 1 (tx dv!)
Rode a borrowed bicycle to class, and it sure felt good to be sweating before I got in the room. I felt very thirsty the entire time and my body wasn't even feeling like it was mine. So tight, everywhere. Eagle was the hugest eye opener. Couldn't barely even get my hands together, even in fists. Made me appreciate how I can move with intention, and notice how the body is so so good with the muscle memory that it may have tendencies to go into auto pilot. Can't believe I committed to 60 days. Crazy.

DAY 32/60 - I AM LE TIrrrr...

Sn, May 2 (tx ka!)
Let the records show that one must not stay awake until 3 am & wake at 8 two days in a row before practicing at 6pm. Never. Don't do it. Just don't. You'll feel like yuck and be unable to keep your eyes open. My body feels like junk. I really want to rescind my commitment to 60 days. All my joints feel like they have sand in them and my feet feel like they are broken. Let the records show that this is not whining. It is what it is. I feel like junk.

DAY 33/33 - BONK BONK BONK FIN

M, May 3 (tx mh!)
Being honest with myself about when a goal needs to be reevaluated has been an interesting thing. I got a quote in my inbox this morning that said: "When it's obvious that the goal cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps." Noone knows who made up THAT tidbit of wisdom. Class tonight, I made my mind up to be fierce, but it just ain't strong enough yet. Even with an amazing teacher that usually helps me pull through just about anything, body bonked for the third day in a row.

Something isn't right. Not in a "I am being a wussy baby and my brain is trying to reason me out of a hard thing." Truthfully, I need to adjust my action steps to do what I am meant to do on this planet. My action steps: cool it with the hatha yoga, end my 60 day challenge commitment and get ON IT with the karma yoga. Why?

• Body jamm. My joints STILL feel like sand. Spine twist is NOT a spine twist and hips so damn tight that, well, toestand was so yuck. Can't go back in camel, and I KNOW how I can use my experience with other yoga styles to care for my back muscles and utilize the strength that I've built over the last 33 days to really get deeper into some old old injuries (both energetic & physical).

• Bikram yoga hot room with your 26 postures & 2 breathing exercises, I love you. Obviously I do. The real love that's not all butterflies - it's also struggle & the hardest thing ever. Even though I love you I've got too much yang. I need some yin. I need some sun salutations IN the sun, outside, when it's rising and the flowers are blooming. I need some anusara wild thing.

• Hungry ALL the time. Housing cheeseburgers and italian subs seemed to be the only thing I could get with enough calories to get me through the hours and that is NOT the way I want to live my life. I need time to cook kitchari and salmon & kale & homemade pickles and dilly beans & make nourishing lunches that jive with the small amount of time that I can manage with the American workstyle.

• Not cleaning my apartment AT ALL for 2.5 weeks is NOT ok. My old basketball coach used to say 'cleanliness is next to godliness' and I think there is so much wisdom in that. Cleaning at the studio is making me appreciate a pristine living/working space more and more and more each week. 

• Part of the reason I do this yoga is because I know it helps me work through the BS that would otherwise cloud my interpersonal relationships. If I'm in the room all the time and not spending time with the people I love, well...what's the point? Enlightenment in a vacuum? NO. Letting the light shine, YES. Dad visiting. Amazing friend wants to pick nettles before visiting California for a month. Another amazing friend wants to go foraging to identify the native plants (that some call weeds) suitable (and oh so tasty) for eating. My most incredibly amazing love interest is moving to town and we will walk in the trees and climb them - yes! New friend wants to hang out and we are going to Grezzo!! If a butterfly stays in the cocoon too long...well, then the world will be one butterfly less beautiful. My social butterfly is twitterpated with the springtime and needs to fly around.

In conclusion, hello more holistic view of yoga - I will still be reporting on how yoga affects the life - after all, it IS life. Now that I am officially the flower provider for all studios I want to invest some time in spreading my love of nature through that opportunity - really putting time and energy into selecting the beauties that seem to jive with the turnings of the season and the mood of the studios. I am pretty sure that becoming a sultry flower goddess is part of my karma yoga. namaste.